Money Exchange and Ma$$age...

India is just a different world. I mean, it's a different planet. Yaya, a different planet in a different universe.

Yaya, um hum, uh huh.ok.kk.k.k.k.ya ya ya (this is how you say good bye on the phone)

I have a Foreign Exchange Executive I call when I need to exchange my currency. We've been talking all week waiting for a rate that pleases me. I finally got a rate I wanted so he just stopped by. After our exchange he asked why I was so serious. I told him I had a headache that was making me feel bad and sad. He offered a head massage. Basically, he insisted on the head massage. The doors were open in my guest room so I figured, why not.

I know, I know, silly Debsy....don't let strange men massage your head ;-) What was I thinking you might ask? I wasn't. That's the thing here:. Don't worry, don't think, just relax and be happy. Happy? Yaya happy.

So, he massages my temples then my forehead then my eyes then my jaw. All I could think of is what would people think. I realized he managed to take half my pain away. This is good, very very good. Then he took his helmet and phone and left.

Why don't American's do business this way?

How to mail a letter in India....

I forgot one of the most important things I did this week. I mailed a picture to my mother via India Post. First I had to purchase an envelop which was rather thin, torn and unseal-able. Next I had to find cardboard so the picture would not bend. I found one on the sidewalk and tore off some pieces. Then I stood in line to find out the rate, then I stood in line to pay for the stamps, then I had to go glue the envelop, then I had to go back and stand in line to give to the postmaster to put their stamp of approval. The entire process took about 1.5 hours.

I have proof that the envelope was in fact sealed and stamped.

You see my foot in the picture. I am guessing I could swim across the ocean before it reaches Mississippi. :-)

I found Kitty City. There are so many dogs in this city, cats not so much. But on this day, lots and lots of kitties.

And of course the day would not be complete without a painting from Sreeshti:

Happy New Year

Another week, another Rupee

I can't believe another week has flown by. Christmas night was a lively group of people, singing, laughing, eating and enjoying.

I managed to accomplish a few things. My luggage came in but the car was sold so I had to take a cab. We're going down the road and I see a few men urinating on the side of the road (nothing new in India) and the cabbie starts to slow down then stops. Gets out of the cab and decides to take a leak himself. That was a first for me. I also saw a road sign which I thought was rather appropriate for my life "No Hurry, No Worry" 'tis my new motto. At any rate, luggage issue over.

I purchased a modem for internet connection but couldn't put it in my name as I don't have a permanent address yet so at least my blue screen error is gone and I'll transfer this to my name once I return from China.

I finally got a response from the bank from a man named Nicholas (hehehehehe, Ole St. Nic i.e. Stanta visited me!!!). I sent him all the paper work and he returned the email telling me who was responsible and he would follow up next week to make sure this was cleared up. YEAH!!!

Sreeshti (little 5 year old girl) is the sweetest little princess. I enjoy spending time with her, drawing and painting. Yesterday I pulled out my Bengali book and she was teaching me Bengali. I figured she has endured my English for almost 3 weeks, it's time I start saying things in Bengali. She is a better teach than I am. I will record our next session. Bengali uses sounds that are not in the English vocabulary this is why I read a word but the sound of the word is not what I see on paper. This is quite confusing. I think I need to hear the word and say it slow and right it down the way I hear it. Later I can work on the written language but in order to speak correctly I need to adjust my brain and mouth for sounds I've never heard before.

I ate mutton twice now and each time I got a terrible headache. I ate on Christmas night and last night and the same headache appeared. No more mutton for me. I have no idea what to expect tonight. New Years Eve in India. I will bring my video camera and record the moment at midnight.

Christmas in Kolkata

Wow, a week has gone by and nothing has changed and everything has changed. I still have missing luggage, I still don't have word from the bank on my closing penalty, I still can't reach Dell - same story. I did reconnect with friends from August, I managed to laugh at myself quite often and I got to do some art. Oh yes, I learned how to count to 10 in Bengali! Woohoo!! Major accomplishment.

Each morning I ran in the park enjoying myself immensely then I would walk with Auntie and her friends. Today I even managed to follow the conversation in Bengali even though I didn't know what they were saying exactly, I knew what they were talking about and it wasn't as mentally exhausting. This is really good news. I noticed a tree in the park and as I got closer to it I realized it was a Poinsettia. I have never seen a Poinsettia grow into a tree before. Quite spectacular.

After such a delightful morning I would frustrate myself into a frenzy dealing with the same old business (banks, luggage, computers), then I let it all go. Each afternoon I spent with Sreeshti playing games, painting, drawing, going to the park, feeding the fish. It was the most enjoyable part of my day.

Christmas Eve I saw 2 Santa's that were so tall...

I joined a gym yesterday and it felt so good to pump some iron again. My calcium is in the missing luggage so I need to keep my bones strong. I'm getting used to eating dinner around 9 or 10pm and then having tea. The caffeine keeps me up until 1 or 2am at which point I frustrate myself into a frenzy once again attempting to do the same business (bank, luggage, computer) during business hours in USA. I finally drift off to sleep.

It's beginning to get a little cold at night. I had to use 2 blankets last night and my feet were cold all night long. Well only about 2 hours because my phone rang at 4am and this woman is talking to me and I don't know who it is because I'm half asleep. My sister, Liz called to wish me a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Something we did as children. To keep the phone cost down I Skyped her but I couldn't hear her because she doesn't have a mic. We had a one way conversation for about an hour LOL. I talked and talked and talked and she would type a question here and there. Then I realized my connection was lost and wondered how long I was talking to myself. I got back online and told her we needed to instant chat because I couldn't keep a one way conversation going on much longer. I thought we said our good byes and I finally got to go to the toilet. I noticed a bucket of clothes I left soaking last night so I rinsed them off, wrung them as dry as I could and I heard this strange noise. I walked into my room and the computer was making the noise. Liz could still hear me and she heard the entire process of me relieving myself and washing the clothes, etc. We laughed and laughed. Well, I think she laughed I still couldn't hear her. (BTW Liz, we can Skype and you can keep your phone on but mute the computer, that way the phone is your mic. I figured this out while walking this morning).

So, there ya have it. It's 1:30pm on Christmas Day in Kolkata. The weather is odd. It's in the 50's but it's hot in the sun and cold in the shade. I don't know what to wear. I know how to layer but the layering in this part of the world is different.

I believe the biggest change for me is coming to the realization of love. I want to share with you from a book Auntie let me read that touched me so much so that I wrote it down. For this concept has been an intellectual concept for me my entire life but never an experiential one. I am experiencing what I have been looking for my entire life and my heart wants to burst with joy.

From the book My Life and Mission - Swami Vivekananda

A 1,000 times dispondency came but there was one thing always to keep us hopeful, the tremendous faithfulness to each other, the tremendous love between us....

In happiness, in misery, in famine, in pain, in the grave, in heaven, or in hell, he who never gives me up is my friend...

A man may have salvation if he can love like that. If we have that faithfulness, there is the essence of all concentration. You need not worship any gods in the world if you have that faith, that strength, that love.

We will have to help each other, but we have to go one step further: the first thing is to become unselfish in help. If the Hindus want to help you, there will be no question of limitations: perfect unselfishness. I give and there it ends. It is gone from me. My mind, my powers, my everything that I have to give, and no more.

So help when you can, but mind what your motive is. If it is selfish, it will neither benefit those you help or yourself. If it is unselfish, it will bring blessings upon them whom it is given, and infinite blessing upon you, sure as your are living.

I shall inspire men everywhere, until the world shall know that it is one with God.

I am living here and now as the Hindus, giving without a motive, giving unselfishly, giving because I can and have the power to do so. I do not do this to gain, but because it is in my heart and there is so much in my heart to give it overflows. It took 50 years to fine home but I found it and I am very very happy.

AMEN - Merry Christmas and happy birthday Jesus

life goes on

Yesterday was an off day. Sleep was bad, difficulties with phone, bank, luggage...blah blah blah.

Today I woke up at 4am and felt like a new day would bring me some new and exciting experiences to encounter. I ran in the park. People are doing so many unusual things such as yoga, and breathing exercises and looking foolish. I can skip, jump and swing my arms and no one thinks anything of it. As I was leaving the park they were handing out free orange juice. You would have thought they were handing out $100 bills the way the crowd gathered. I managed to get my juice and walked back to the guest house feeling refreshed from running and energized for the day.

Today my only goal was to get scissors to cut my bangs, some Band-Aids as I cut my toe last night and alter the shirt I purchased a few days ago. Simple, yes? Satyaki came by with Band-Aids, he took me to the xerox place to make copies of documents for the luggage. I went to his home and gave the papers to Isihta and had tea with her and a lovely chat. I came back to the guest house so they could clean my room then I took off. I stopped by the pharmacy to purchase scissors and probotics. The malaria meds are killing any good bacteria I have and I need to replenish my body. This was a task as they didn't know what I was talking about. I finally pointed to a box that had exactly what I needed.

I went to the shop and told them what I wanted with the shirt and what was done before. We came upon an agreement as to what needed to be altered. I'm escorted two blocks down the road to the woman on the sidewalk with the sewing machine. As I'm waiting a bird decided to poop on me. I asked for a piece of cloth to wipe if off and the girl giggled as if I deserved it. I dunno, I was standing on a street corner with all these cars and bikes and people and I'm breathing in the dirtiest air and look over at this dog lying in the middle of the sidewalk you can barely walk on because of all the people and this dog is like the king of the hill, no one touches or disturbs him.

On my way back to the guest house I took pictures of one city block. The sun was in the way so the pix are not that great, but you get the idea of how busy the main street is.

I turn down my street.

An update on the sidewalk and a picture of my residence right now. Hey, I have a door man, more than I can say when I lived in NY!

I return to the room and look at emails when Satyaki calls and tells me the luggage is in Kolkata and we need to get to the airport before 4:30 in order to receive the items or we will have to wait until Monday. Anil comes by to pick me up. Anil is Satyaki's driver. He drives like I do swerving in and out of traffic but he is much better. I'm smiling as we ride down the roads with bumps and pot holes and we reach 110 MPH and this is no freeway, there are crossings for people to walk, there are bikes and people walking on this road. I think were about to fly we're going so fast and I'm completely relaxed. I can see a cow up the road that is crossing. We approach this cow and it looks like we can fly by him but he decides it's time to get in our lane. Anil slows down from 110 to about 20MPH in a matter of seconds to let the cow cross the street and then we're speeding down the road again.

The airport procedure was something like in the early 1930's or 1940's. A man would write something down on a piece of paper that is so thin and limp and soggy from the humidity and another man takes it down the hall. Then the 2nd man comes back and the first man writes something else on the paper. The 2nd man, takes it down the hall, etc. etc. etc. An hour later I am ready to go get my luggage of which one is still missing.

I go to the mishandled baggage line and wait for 15 minutes until someone comes to help. He takes me in this room that is loaded with lost luggage and it smells like a dirty diaper in there with lots of flys. I thought I was going to throw up. My gag reflexes were on overdrive. Of course my luggage is spread out from one end to the other but I manage to get 2 suitcases and 2 boxes. The boxes were opened and taped up and falling apart. They got beat up pretty bad but I didn't care. I had them.

Anil is waiting for me outside and takes the trolly with my bags. These 2 little boys try to help and we keep telling them no. Don't touch. I'm on the phone with Isitha to let her know the status and I'm yelling at these boys to put my luggage down and Anil is trying to put this huge suitcase in the trunk. Oh my, persistence is strong with the people on the street begging and these 2 little boys were not giving up. As I get in the car they ask for money. I felt bad but I didn't ask for help. I told them not to help and I told them no money. His voice is still ringing in my ear. It is difficult to know when to help and when to say no. I have to look out for myself and I want to help. I know I cannot help everyone but I want to.

Family

For the past 20 years my family has not been a family. No one talks to the other. Hard feelings and misunderstandings got in the way. All too often buttons were pushed emotionally opening up wounds from the past that made it impossible to communicate and have relationships. My first trip to India made me desire a truce, peace talks, reconciliation. Through much ado, I was able to speak to each member of my family except my brother (whom I do have a good relationship with) and had pleasant conversations with each of them. I was able to leave the world I knew my entire life knowing all is well and there is no unfinished business related to family ties.

The renewed connection has brought up many emotions for me. I am happy that there are no hard feelings and peace is a reality. It saddens me to some extent that I am half way across the world for this to happen. But in Gods eyes, there is no time or space that can separate us from His love. I am reminded of this every day in India with my new family the Roy's. Their love for life and each other fascinates me. I am being cared for in a way that is unlike that of the Western world. The love, concern, and joy is not a familiar thing for me. I am learning to love and be loved the Eastern way.

I have mixed emotions of my worth. I must believe that God is teaching me a valuable lesson that is right in front of my eyes and yet I am unable to see it because of the distortion of my past experiences. I have let go of so much. Basically I have let go of everything I've ever known or had except maybe 1% of my possessions. I let go of friendships and my way of life. I let go of my precious companion, Bunny all for this moment. I closed all the doors in order to open the door to India; to open the door to my heart.

I realize I am still holding on to a hurt that is all to familiar to me. A hurt so deep that it's beginning was the beginning of my life. God knows what this hurt is, I cannot explain it but it is known to my Creator. My prayer today is that I trust in God's plan and accept the gift He has given me with open arms and open heart. I pray that this hurt melt off me, that it vanishes quickly and that the healing my soul is in need of will continue to sooth what ails the deepest part of my spirit.

Today, I will not study, I will not do errands, I will not worry. Today is a play day for me and the little girl inside me. To enjoy life and play. Today I give myself in sweet surrender to my love, my God, my life.

South Kolkata

I am fortunate that I have my new family in South Kolkata. This part of the city is quite and comfortable. Well, as comfortable as can be in India. There is minimal traffic on my street. I did go 2 nights without dogs barking but last night they sat under my window and barked me to sleep ;-)

I got to run this morning at the lake 2 blocks away. It was beautiful, humid and people walking ,running, sitting and having tea, doing yoga, all kinds of kind, nice people to look at while running. I am happy.

Ishita, my newest bestest girl friend took me shopping last night so I could pick up a few things while my luggage is still being hunted down. I told her I didn't even have a bra. We went down this alley off the sidewalk to a booth where a man was selling bras. I said I was a 34a and he brings me this box that has 85 on it. I'm thinking I gained some weight but seriously, an 85? They use metric here (another thing to learn as well as the language). It was so bazaar, I couldn't see this scene in the USA to save my soul. I had a smile on my face and no one really understood why I was laughing. It was just another day in India where you buy your bra in an alley off the sidewalk.

Satyaki is working on my electrical problems. I have my converter in the missing luggage so it has taken 3 people to work out a solution. I have a temporary fix at the moment and hopefully tonight I will have my own converter. Another thing the insurance company will have to reimburse me for on the lost luggage situation.

I got word that the close on my home finally happened. I have no idea where the money is, but the transaction is complete. I have to call SBI to find out how much money was wired.

It's 80 degrees and people have sweaters on. It astonishes me that it is considered cool here. I'm not sweating like I was in August but it is very comfortable here.

I am happy. I am in a dream that has become reality. I am still floating on a cloud of mystery and I have no idea what each day will bring. It makes me love God so much words cannot tell. I feel wonderful as the unknown is unfolding in front of my eyes. Each task is a process of concentration and focus. I don't believe you can do anything here absent mindedly. Every step you take has to be looked at. The sidewalks are not even. The people are everywhere. The cars and buses and auto rickshaws are speeding down the road with no red lights to cross the streets. My awareness of the surroundings is overloaded right now. I know in a few months I will know the streets in the neighborhood and not have to focus as much. Of course, it will be time to go to China and go through the same process once again. I believe these experiences in my life at this time will make me a brighter, more intelligent and sensitive person.

In short - life is wonderful and I am grateful

Back to India

I sold my condo, my car, the furniture, my cat has a new home and I'm taking off to India. I want to help the children in the slums get an education. I also have the opportunity to work in China for 4 months next year teaching English. My new life has so many beautiful possibilities. My good friend Ric said I was the next Mother Teresa. He's an artist and he did this picture. I am so humbled....if only