I feel like I joined the army or rather an Indian/Eastern lifestyle boot camp. I’m nothing, I’m a maggot; I have been beaten down and broken until I finally gave in today. There is nothing left to defend. I am ready to be remade. I am open now to receive the instruction needed to become strong again and live a successful life on the Eastern side of the world without debate or opinion. I am keenly aware that I know nothing. I truly have to learn everything all over again. The past few days have been the biggest tribulation yet in this land that makes no sense to the Western mind. Yet I must acknowledge it was a good thing because I experienced advantageous lessons.
Before I tell you the story I ought to admit to my daily breakdowns. It usually starts around 5pm where I cry to release the anxiety I feel in this foreign land. After 10 minutes of crying I sleep where I crash like a computer. All circuits are off and it takes a few hours to reboot. When I awake, I’m ready for the challenge again. This has been my saving grace. God has kept me sane through this releasing process or else I would have packed my bags weeks ago, however, I have pressed through what I considered being uncomfortable only to find out, I’m just use to living in luxury. People in the USA do not realize that living luxurious doesn’t mean being a millionaire and having all the money in the world. Life in the USA is easy compared to life here, it’s plain and simple – I’m a spoiled brat. Well, I was a spoiled brat... the brat in me has been broken down and it’s time to learn how to live with love in my heart; not fear that people are out to hurt me. Time to learn how to live without the conviences of unnecessary items that do things for me so that I become unattuned, unaware, unfeeling.
This little episode in my life begins…I’m going to Manali to check out a resort that could possibly be a great investment for me sometime in the future so that I can continue to study and volunteer my time to help others while the investment supports my expenses and actually puts money in the bank for me. This is an educational trip for business purposes but I believe God had other lessons for me to learn.We were going to fly to Delhi but some of the people going were taking a train and the train was delayed due to fog. So, plans changed and our trip on the 5th was delayed until the 9th. We all take the train to Delhi. This actually worked to my advantage because I became sick and had to go to the doctor and start taking medicine. (The doctor visit was strange. I will not go into details. I pray that I never need a doctor again!)
The train ride was to start at 7am Saturday but was delayed until 2pm. I woke up at 5am to get ready for the 7am departure so the day was going to be long. We arrive at train station only to have another delay. We finally leave at 3:30pm. I take rest as I am suffering from a cold that I believe is bronchitis. The medicine I have makes me feel bad and soon I will know just how bad, bad can really feel. I’m lying on the top bunk in our first class sleeper which in India is rather nice, but this Western mind hasn’t adjusted yet.
The toilets are down the hall. One Western and one Eastern style toilet. I decide to take the Eastern; it’s actually easier at times to squat. There is no flushing water; the waste goes directly to the tracks which you can see when you stand in the bathroom. The cold air on my rear end probably isn’t good for this congestion. I don’t really care, I’m just glad there is a toilet.
All I hear for the next 30 hours on the train is Bengali. I think I heard 10 minutes of English the entire train ride. I’m feeling bad physically and I’m overwhelmed mentally with the sounds of a language that I don’t understand. It’s close to 5pm – my breakdown time but I am not alone. I have no privacy so this release doesn’t happen. My anxiety level has not been liberated. I’m edgy. The food comes and I eat alone, everyone else eats later. 20 minutes after I eat my stomach gurgles and bubbles - I know what comes next. I go to the toilet with cold air hitting my ass, hanging on to a rail while squatting to have diarrhea. I still have not figured out how the faucets work. I keep turning them and a little water comes out but I can’t get my hand on it while turning it and holding on to the rail.
(taken later to illustrate the holding on of the rail)
The train is bumpy; I have no control over my bowel. I did bring wet wipes with me on this particular toilet trip because I wasn’t sure just how bad it was going to be and I still hadn’t figure out the faucets. I’m trying to hold on to the rail, pull a wet wipe out and the train bumps too hard and I fall into the toilet. I didn’t tell anyone on the trip because I was so embarrassed at the fact that I can’t seem to do anything right. I will be humiliated when the people in India read this but my intention with this blog is to let the people in the Western world know the ups and downs of changingg lifestyles. Thank God, I had the wet wipes. I manage to get up, I use the wipes to clean myself up the best I can. No crying only laughing. I am laughing so hard that I have to squat again. This time I hold on with two hands. Then the train bumps hard again and I see the faucet go up and down and water comes out. The faucets don’t turn they pump so I learned something through this ordeal. The rest of the night is good, I know how to squat, use the faucet and soon I will sleep and not hear any Bengali.
I wake up at 3am. I’m wide awake. The train is silent. I get on my computer and a few hours later I run across my sister on MSN. The internet is great. You never know when you will meet up with someone. So I’m telling her about the trip and I know I’m making her laugh. She told me her dogs were barking because she was laughing so hard. I as I try not to laugh I start coughing. Anyway, it was good, very, very gouud (Indian pronunciation for good) to have a moment with someone who could understand what I was saying and what I was feeling.
Sunday
I’m still not feeling well and was told not to eat so I didn’t eat. My stomach is still upset and I’m hungry which makes me a little irritable. My anxiety level is rising. 5pm comes around again and I have no privacy so no crying, no sleeping it off, nothing. Ufffff (Indian style for Ugh.)
The train stops a lot because it cannot see due to the fog. It stops one time so they can pick up a dead body on the train platform. Ufffff, this train ride is never going to end. It takes two hours from boarding to getting off the airplane from Delhi to Kolkata and we’ve been on the train for 30 fricken hours. I laugh now because it is so absurd that it took me 33 hours to fly ½ across the world and 30 hours to go to Delhi. At the time not only was my anxiety level high everyone else was irritable too.
We are off the train; getting through the platform to the car takes about 20 minutes. We help a young lady that was traveling alone and take her to the university guest house which takes about an hour out of our way. We begin the journey by car to Kolka. I can’t keep my head up any longer. I’m resting on the door window and Satyaki motions me to lean on him. I fall asleep immediately. I am not sure how long I slept, but I woke up lying down on the seat on a very bumpy road. It wasn’t a road; we got off the road due to a traffic jam only to get stuck in another traffic jam off the road. After a long long long long time, the men get out of the car and start directing people to turn around. This could never happen in the states but these cars were able to turn around and drive off. We finally get turned around and start our way back on the main road which is still in a traffic jam. I take a video; this traffic jam is the worst traffic jam in the world. I was once traveling from Florida to Georgia, a 7 hour trip when an ice storm came. The freeway was at a standstill. I was 6 hours into my trip and only had one hour to go. It took 7 hours to get home from that point so the trip was doubled in time. That was nothing compared to this traffic jam. There was dust from the people driving off the road, trucks, buses, ufffffff, and too much dust. I put my facemask on because I’m starting to cough again. (Sigh)
We finally get going again. Oh yes, it’s cold outside. Cold enough to wear a coat and the driver has his window down and no heat in the car. I’m freezing we drive and drive and finally we stop to eat at 2am. The restaurant is an open space; it’s not closed so we eat in the cold. As soon as we finish I feel the gurgles and bubbles in my stomach. I use the toilet. There is no faucet for water, only a knob so I turn it and freezing cold water hits my ass from the bidet. We get going again, we are all sleeping and then we stop. We have a flat tire which is about ¼ mile from a hotel. Bapin and Satyaki walk to see if they are open. We get the tire fixed and drive to the hotel. Yes, we’re in. We get rooms, no heat but it doesn’t matter, and we pass out at 5am.
...to be continued
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